There once was a man called Bill. Bill had his first child with his wife Jennifer. He was new to parenthood. Johnny was their son’s name. He loved to read books. He was a megamind! He loved books so much in fact that he even took and read at 1 years old his great grandmother’s luminous book and read it in 2 days!

One day, Bill decided to take Jonney to the library in town. He was only 4 at the time so he had learnt to read quite well. Johnny chose a big 1500 page book. This book he chose was the Bible. He learnt about everything that happened in the Bible times he was quoting scriptures on the way back home.

Years went by and Bill had another child. He was also fascinated by books. He was called Pluto. Pluto loved learning about planets. His favourite, as you might guess, is Pluto. He found it very confusing though that Pluto was a planet, then not just because it can’t clear its path of debris.

Then they had another child who was a girl. Her name was Veevee. Veevee was obsessed with scary films etc. She loved haunted or abandoned stuff. She found it so cool how she could maybe one day roam around an abandoned building and no one would be there to stop her.

A few years later when Jonney was 12, Pluto was 10 and Veevee was 7, they went back down to the library in town only to find no one was in it and it had a warning saying ‘DO NOT ENTER’. It looked all gross, abandoned and musty so they decided to go home.

In the car, Bill did a little register just for fun, “Jonney?! Here! Pluto?! Here!! Veevee?!” But there was no answer. “Oh no, strap yourself out kids, I believe Veevee has gone into the abandoned library.”

They went into the library to find Veevee’s corpse. He thought she had died because she did and he was very sad. They did the only reasonable thing, go back out but they couldn’t find the door. They were trapped!

They twisted and turned, wiggled and jiggled but they couldn’t get out. Suddenly a massive poop clown started chasing them through the halls. It was a dead end, and they were dead too.

Pluto threw a book at the poop clown and it exploded into a million tiny poop particles! It was disgusting. They looked and they turned but they still couldn’t find an exit! Johnny spotted something in the distance, a green sign of a man running! It was an exit! They were saved from the library!

Only to see it was a green vomit man with an exit sign stuck on him. They ran and ran until they saw the real exit! They were actually saved this time.

All of a sudden, Bill was in his bed with sleep in his eyes. It was a dream! A dream about the Abandoned library.

THE END

One mystical day, Bill took a stroll down the golden, sandy beach with his girlfriend Jennifer when he spotted something in the distance. He described it as a ‘shimmering green object that was calling to him!’ It was like an outlook when he came closer! He saw it then and he saw it there but little did Bill know, when he opened this bottle, his life would have changed forever!

You may be wondering how Bill got to this point. Rewinding, he was in the Science lab at work, working on an atomic bomb that Elon Musk could use for his experiment about o2 crystals and water molecules on the surface of Mars that might activate and open up when exploded so that life forms could be possible and humans could maybe live on Mars as well as Earth. Bill was the main Science instructor. He was the man with the plan. He was the person who made the actual blueprints for the bomb. His assistant, Jennifer, was also helping a lot! She was the woman with the… I don’t know what rhymes with woman but she helped a lot is what I’m trying to say.

Bill woke up the next morning in his sleep pod with nausea, blurred-sight and unsteadyness. He didn’t know what was going on but then, out of the wide open blue, he passed-out! Jennifer saw this happening from across the room and rushed over. He was dead. Bill had literally just died in front of his assistant/girlfriend. Jennifer started to sob bitterly. She called an ambulance and they clarified that he had died.

A few weeks went by and the bomb was finished. Elon launched it, it hit Mars, and the plan worked! The Science Lab rejoiced but Jennifer just thought how happy and amazed Bill would be if he was still here. On Mars, streams sprung for miles! Unordinary life no one had ever seen before erupted from the ground and began walking and trotting all over Mars! It had an aroma though that was super rare that was in the air that could heal any dead thing. One of the Mars Rovers threw a sample and 9 hours later it arrived at earth.

In an instant, Jennifer sprang to NASA and stole the sample! She ran back to Bill and opened the small sample of air and he rose up! He took multiple breaths of air and with every breath he began to feel better and better. Jennifer hugged him tightly and began to cry tears of joy. He unravelled that he was feeling cryptic and confused. One second he was ascending, the next second he was back on the ground. Jennifer explained what had happened and then he began to cry because he never actually thought that she loved him but it proved to be true when she explained what she had just done to save his life with the chance of going to prison or dying herself.

Fast forward a couple years and Bill and Jenn were on the beach and he saw a bottle. He picked it up and opened it up. It had a message that read, ‘Dear people of Earth, my name is Hopletonseph and I have found out how to write in your language as you can see. I am writing a message to save our kind and many others on our planet. Please, save our kind. We know you can do it! Our Emperor is planning to destroy your planet. Our planet is next. Although he could destroy us first, he wants to put us on the tips of our trotters. I am trying to put a stop to what he is going to do but if I do, he will destroy us instead. Please, I beg of you, save us, save Tatlekind! -Kind and hurried regards, Hopletonseph.’ 

Bill knew what to do. He made a protective shield up and then flew to Mars in a vivid flash! He found Hopletonseph and he was fighting the Emperor! Bill was scared because they were so much bigger than him. He went back to his ship and adventured through his machinery. He found a freeze taser and shot it at the Emperor. The Emperor saw it and then threw Hopletonseph in the way.

The Emperor launched at him and started fighting. Punch after hit after kick after slap after knee after uppercut after bodyslam, the Emperor was down. The whole of Mars rejoiced! He flew back to Earth and the whole of Earth rejoiced along with Mars.

Jenn and Bill got married the following year. They did, and I mean this, lived happily ever after. But little did Bill know, this was just the beginning to his story.

THE END

This book is an audible original. This is a funny book based on real life things that have happened and explained in funny ways. This story has things like: Edison Vs Tesla, Chanel Vs Schiaparelli, Joe Frazier Vs Muhammad Ali and Sports Fans and the Roman Empire kinda stuff. It is a very funny book and it has lots of things that adults and children would like.

This book is literally just about Rivals through history and what they did. It was very funny with the one about Edison & Tesla because Edison died wealthy and he had completed so many things in life. Tesla on the other hand died with inventions that never became famous and barely even did make any of his dreams realities. Frazier and Ali was my favourite because it was so funny. In one of the bits it said that their 1st and 3rd fights were some of the most famous fights in history. It said it was just about more famous as when Mike Tyson bit off a part of a dude’s ear. He said at that moment, “Just like mama always said, if you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em!”.

I found the Rivalry about Chanel and Schiaparelli really dumb because their choices were stupid as can be. Chanel thought she was the best and Schiaparelli thought she was. It was a weird scenario. The roman empire one I thought was particularly interesting because of the chariot races. It was quite cool. They carried a knife with them called a Fox in case of emergencies with the chariots. An interesting fact I learnt was that they didn’t actually hold the reins, it was tied around their waist so they could have more control by leaning on the chariots.

My recommendation is a yes. This book is so good because of all the funny things it has in it and I’ve only said a few! 5 stars and thank you Audible for making the book. I really need you to listen to these books. There are only 2 of them but they are short, funny and descriptive. The book ticks all the boxes for being a good book. Thank you for reading and the books are completely free on the Audible library. BYE!

‘Corn Corn’ is actually something that my brother made up in a story he made that isn’t yet on the website.

It’s literally corn kernels that have been sitting on your kitchen counter for generations and have absolutely no water in it whatsoever.

                                                         The point is, it’s stupid.

‘Corn Corn’ has 2 flavours (I think): Corn Corn original and Corney Corn.

I invented ‘Corney Corn’ and it’s just more stale.

‘Corn Corn’ is silly, stupid, putrid, rancid, nasty, revolting, unpleasant, overall disgusting, gross, foul, repulsive, sickening, loathsome, minging, feted, abominable, hideously gruesome and squalid. It should have just never been invented in the first place but boo-hoo here we are now.

                                             Basically, ‘Corn Corn’ is magical.

‘Corn Corn’ is weird in SO many ways. Have you ever had Kellogg’s Crunchy Nut Flakes? In summary, they never get soggy unless left unattended for more than 20 minutes and are super delicious. ‘CORN CORN’ on the other hand never gets soggy unless unattended for MILLIONS of YEARS!

It also never comes in small packaging. Although it’s super cheap, ‘Corn Corn’ only comes in 10kg boxes. (that is at least the average wait of a not-super-chubby 1 year old). C.C is also super popular somehow. Parents who don’t love their kids or parents who need a cheap savoury thing for their kids to eat that will last a lifetime and pick out a random thing for the shopping aisle, it’s ‘Corn Corn’ no doubt.

                                    Nobody Knows Why But ‘Corn Corn’ Is “Cereal”.

Lots of people use C.C as cereal. They pour milk on it and all that jazz. It’s weird because it doesn’t even taste nice but like I said earlier, that’s why parents who don’t love their kids buy it so often.

Thank you for reading and I hope you understand what ‘Corn Corn’ is now.

BYE!

If anything, Polly was acting very strange. Xurxus noticed that she was actually floating or hovering at least a centremetre off the ground. When he blinked, she was back on the ground, he blinked again, she was hovering. He left the room to go to the toilet but when he returned, the window was wide open, and Polly had disappeared!

OBVIOUSLY the most reasonable response was to get his mum and Polly’s dad but in fact while I am speaking right now he has thrown rope out of the window and is now scaling down the side of the house. I don’t know why but Xurxus never had a clue of anything he was doing. When he threw the rope out of the window, he didn’t actually tie it to anything inside so he just fell a 13ft drop. He’s ok (thankfully) but still has no clue of where to start on his mission to find Polly. Clueless as he was, he stood there thinking, pondering, questioni- oops, nevermind he went back inside.

“Where is Polly?” He thought to himself. “Where could she be?” He obviously wasn’t concentrating on thinking because he was in the middle of eating a tiramisu chocolate fully edible cup. He didn’t think much when Polly walked into the room when he realized that Polly was the person he was looking for. He asked if she was ok and told her the whole scenario about her acting strange but she didn’t seem to remember what actually happened. She did though have another flashback though of her fighting a different painting yet it was mumbling louder and it was blue and red and was much quicker. She didn’t seem to be hurt though.

It was then when it occurred to them that they made 1 painting each. They were now realizing that they had to face 2 talking paintings!

Polly passed out. She couldn’t believe what she had just remembered. That flashback was a clue, a clue to tracking down the X&P#~3=2025 (AKA the disappeared painting). They said that they had a plan to capture X&P#~3=2025. Turns out they didn’t. But they kinda did. It was a weird scenario. The plan they had in mind was luring it into something but first they had to do some tests on it because they didn’t know what it liked other than red head Polly that it jumped earlier. Polly took off her cast and smashed it in her hand and Xurxus was looking at her really confused. Out of NOWHERE she crushed it in her hand into a million pieces. “Why?” asked Xurxus. Then Polly said, “If we use this as ninja stars or just stick them in the trees, it might want to follow the scent and we will lead it right into our trap!” “Loopy idea but it might just work!” answered Xurxus. So they got to work. They got bored after stabbing a few shards of the cast into trees and turns out it was time for the 12 o’clock Bluey \|The Next Generation|/ —Eps 14— so they decided to take a break. 

They genuinely had zero idea how to do this. Clueless, absolutely clueless! “Dum duuh. Hmmm. Polly,” “Yes?” she answered, “I have an idea!” “Yeah right! If there was anybody in this room who had even a scratch of an idea in the world of what to do, it would NOT be you.” “Can you at least give me a chance?… Please??… he-LLO!?” Polly stood there, completely silent; without saying a single word while gazing off into the distance almost as if she was blank ignoring him. “POLLY?!” He shouted at the top of his fleshy, pink lungs and then started to get very worried.

This is a book by Alan Dean Foster.

I really enjoyed this book because it really sets the scene and it’s amazing in doing so. For example, the first 50 pages in the book is talking about Kirk and how he got to being captain from being a dude who lived at home completely reckless with his girlfriend and not doing anything.

This book was really boring at first but then I began to become really engaged for quite a lot of the time near the end.

My Favourite Part

My favourite part was at the end with the battle against the Narada and the Vulcan Craft. It was an interesting bit where basically Pike is on the Vulcan Craft as a prisoner and Kirk rescues him. To put it in a bit more depth though, as soon as he frees Pike, the guards are literally heading towards his cell for the daily routine check but because Kirk was so happy to see Pike again and happy that he freed him in general, he didn’t see the armoured guards chasing them. Fortunately, they made it through the portal and made it back to Narada in time.

On the screen at the Narada, Solkar appeared on their screen and threatened to bomb the ship. Their torpedoes reached the other ship first though and the entire ship blew up. Somehow Solkar was still alive and said on the pitch black screen that he will be back but I’m pretty sure that he dies later.

The End Of My Favourite Part

This book I would personally rate ⅘ stars taking into consideration that the middle was a bit boring. This book was great though and I will recommend it for anyone who is into Star Wars and sci-fi etc.

I hope you have enjoyed reading and If you have read this book you will totally understand how awesome and descriptive the bit at the end with the Narada + Vulcan Warship Craft is. 

Thank you for reading 🙂

Basically, we have a cat named Miss Miss. Not a very exciting cat but a cat that is very lively. He would jump around like wild! One day this particular cat decided to just not eat his big bowl of corn corn. He just decided he did not like corn corn anymore. Then he wanted to paint the house. When everyone went out to work at the disgusting corn corn corn factory which corn corn originates from, he launched his plan!

You may be a bit confused how and why a cat wanted to paint the house. He wanted to paint it black and white, the same colour as him! You see, he needed to somehow get rid of his kittens- kidding but the house was blue, red, yellow and purple. He hated these colours! Literally his least favourite colours of all! He went and had a secret meeting with the P.C.S.C.O.K. (the PUSSY CAT SECRET CORP OF KITTENS.) and they discussed that they had to make the paint themselves. For the black paint, they used black cat hairballs, crushed up blackboard, black ink, black soap for good smells and dark chocolate. For the white paint they used white cat hair balls, crushed up whiteboard, white ink, white soap for good smells and white chocolate.

They got to work fast! They only had an hour or two so they worked super speedy! After they finished painting the house, they still had leftover paint which they couldn’t have because they can’t have proof it was them. They took down the shoeboxes and dipped them in the paint and dipped some accessories in the paint as well.

“What a fat big ol’ day at the ‘corn corn corn factory’!” Said Sam. “I know right?!” Said Amanda. Then Samson said in a very excited voice, “I can’t wait to give Miss Miss a bowl of our brand new ‘corney corn’ flavour of ‘corn corn’!” Apollo then said, “Nobody even likes that stupid ‘corn corn’ stupidness! I prefer ‘Jimey’s Jimmy-Flippets!’” Everybody gasped! Then drove mach 28 to a desert then threw him out the car then gave him a packet of super-sour-patch-kids-that-suck-all-the-water-and-life-out-of-your-body-and-completely-drain-you and then stuffed them all down his throat then slap him then drove of and fired him from the ‘corn corn corn factory’.

When they got home they saw Miss Miss sleeping under the shoeboxes looking tired and exhausted. They never even noticed the black and white walls until weeks later! They did notice the walls smelt nice though and did look a bit hairy but they didn’t think much of it. 

THE END

No doubt, my favourite book. By FAR!!

So basically I could make millions of blogs about all the exciting things that have happened in this book. The reason why? Because I love dinosaurs! I really really really really really love them!! Since I was little dinosaurs have been an obsession for me! (please count how many exclamation marks that I put in this blog). I actually saw a dinosaur zip jumper that I really wanted in M&S but it was £17 so my parents didn’t let me have it. Dinosaurs will always be in my heart and i love them so much! I even said in my prayers when I was little that I couldn’t wait to see the dinosaurs in paradise but now thinking about it, they probably won’t be in paradise considering they are unreasonably big and hard to handle. Hopefully they will be in paradise though :).

Anyways this book is a book by Micheal Crichton. (love you Mike!) The descriptive writing and the visions you can get from this book is astounding! Before we get any further I’m kinda gonna spoil the book a tiny bit saying my 2 favourite things that happen in the book in the next 2 paragraphs so you can skip them if you want.

My First Favourite Part:

So what happens earlier in the book, about the 3rd dinosaur encounter is the TYRANNOSAURUS REX! Basically he had just eaten a really big lunch and is sitting cross-legged without crossing his legs so his legs are just stretched out. He was asleep with the body of a dead Hadrosaurus next to him that he had just eaten. Dr Grant found a little green shed next to the dock that had six, or as the book described it, half a dozen life jackets on the walls and an inflatable dingy. Grant tried his best to quietly open the dingy but it was really loud. Luckily it didn’t wake up the T-rex. Timmy, Grant and Lex all put on a life vest and hopped in the boat. While they were sailing across the lagoon Lex couldn’t help herself… Then she coughed really loud. It echoed through the lagoon and it woke up the Tyrannosaur! It came rushing at them. Lex wasn’t scared. She said, “Don’t be silly, T-rexs can’t swim!” Then it jumped in the water  and started swimming like a crocodile. I’ll spare you the rest XP!

My Second Favourite Part:

Later in the book near the end, the Velociraptors escaped! They found out the Velociraptors were somehow breeding because they sometimes used real animal DNA in the batches of eggs they incubated and they accidentally put in frog DNA that made them hermaphrodite that meant they were male and female so they could have babies by themselves. Grant found a young Raptor which was proof that they were breeding because they hadn’t done a batch of Velocirapters in a while. So they decided they were going to bring it to the lobby and show it to the Scientists so all the being chased and nearly eaten by dinosaurs would be over. Lex was so happy and she said, “Finally! All the dinosaurs mayhem will be over as soon as we get to the lobby! I’m going to go to the cafeteria and have a hamburger, and some fries… Oooh! And a chocolate milksha-” When they got there, the glass was broken, the power was out and a sign was hanging from one hinge that said, ‘WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE WORLD’. They didn’t actually say this but I can just imagine Lex thinking, “AW nuts!”. Grant told Tim and Lex to stay in the cafeteria. Only Tim had the night-vision goggles so only he could see (considering no power=no light). And once again, I’ll spare you the rest!

So with those being said I will 1 trillion with so many more zeros percent recommend this book because it is so incredibly amazing! 5 stars! My love for dinos will never change and I hope I have given you a little love for dinosaurs to read this book!

Fantastically brilliant this is! And now please enjoy your afternoon T(-Rex) while being Ha(dresaurus)ndy to your parents. See ya raptors!

After 10 painful minutes (as Polly described it) of Xurxus going on and on that he definitely saw something in the distance, they decided to end the search. After all, paintings aren’t that important anyways. Because Polly and Xurxus went into the woods and were so serious about the paintings, their parents believed them that they did do something while they were gone. They even had a little look themselves but didn’t find anything.

Polly was getting worried about Xurxus and it looked as if something was on his mind. When she asked, he didn’t reply. She got even more curious and asked him a second time, then he walked out the room and turned right to the corridor. She followed. But as soon as she looked right down the hallway, he was gone. He had disappeared just like that. She thought she was dreaming. Then all of a sudden, she awoke in her bed. Covered in bandages, plasters, ice packs and there were bruises all over her body. Xurxus, Xurxus’ mum and Polly’s dad were all gathered around her with worry on their faces. She had been told they found her outside battered and bruised, scarred and cut so they brought her inside. “I think she has been attacked!” said Xurxus. “By who?!” said Polly, “We live 50 miles away from the nearest town, we are completely isolated, and we haven’t even seen a person we haven’t seen before in weeks!” Xurxus was surprised by Polly’s answer, he had never, in the 15 years he had known her, seen her lose her temper like that. So surprised in fact he left the room. “Oopsie daisy!” said Polly. The parents looked at her like it was not an appropriate thing to say in such a serious situation even though Xurxus leaving the room was not super serious.

Confused as she was, she didn’t think about it and then got some rest. While she was trying to fall asleep, Xurxus came in and sat down on the bed next to Polly. “Sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have been so rude and left like that. I have just never seen you lose your temper before. Sorry.” He was genuinely sorry. She could tell. “It’s alright.” Polly said while sitting herself up to give him a hug. Then they started talking about what attacked Polly. Then Polly remembered a vast blurry rectangular object mumbling and throwing her about. She told Xurxus and Xurxus knew what it was. It was the painting…. The TALKING painting.

Wonder is a book by R.J Palicio.This book is wonderful… see what I did there! This book is fantastic and I think the way it concludes is heart-touching.You can really imagine why some of the kids say that if they looked like him they would not know what to do with themselves. You can search up the movie to see how he looks but it is very weird. His eyes are way to the side of his face and are at a slanted angle. Cauliflower ears and a melted looking face.He is a very nice boy but he just looks weird. This book is 97% amazing in my opinion because near the end where Mr Tushman was handing out certificates at the assembly, he was talking so much before he gave out the last award that I knew was going to be August anyways. The reason I state it’s 97% good is because 3% of him talking is also 3% of the book that isn’t a lot but WHY 3%? It really got my nerves going for a while but I just couldn’t wait so I was reading properly at super-sonic-speed.At the end of the book, the heart-touching moment I wanted to share is when the sister Via says to Auggie, “Thank you so much Auggie for coming into this world and being you. You truly are a Wonder.” Then the book ends.Thanks for reading and if you can, read the book!

Chapter 1 – An Interesting day

Once lived a strange boy named Xurxus Elio Andzestrus. He didn’t have any friends, didn’t go to school, lived in the middle of nowhere in a massive house with just him and his mum Julia. In fact, he did kind of have a friend. He would classify her more of a sister than a friend though because they would hang out together all of the time. She was from a crazy family. Her name was Polly Juniper Vertique. Xurxus was 15 and Polly was 16. She was afraid of nothing except for talking things that weren’t meant to talk. For example, she once passed out by opening the door to the house that she lived in and the door started talking to her about the periodic table! When she woke up her dad explained that it was just the Google Home replying to her dads question about what metal on the periodic table is the strongest. Xurxus on the other hand was afraid of a lot of things! He had an Aerophobia (fear of sky travel), an Arachnaphobia (fear of spiders), a Hemophobia (fear of blood), a Dentophobia (fear of dentists and dental things), Cynophobia (fear of dogs) which really didn’t help for Polly had a dog called Luna. Plus on top of all that, he was also Claustreobic (fear of confined spaces), Nyctophobic (an extreme fear of the dark) and an Agoraphobia (fear that your environment is unsafe with no way of escape) that was the worst of all!

Considering that Xurxus lived in the middle of nowhere, he did have Polly who lived next door but that was all his company. The shops were 50 miles away but luckily, the long road leading to the shops were 50mph roads so you could drive there in an hour. One day Xurxus’ mum and Polly’s dad had to go to the shops because they were running low on food. Xurxus’ mum and Polly’s dad spent a whole hour in the shops though because they might also buy some clothes for themselves and their kids so they didn’t freeze during Winter. So Xurxus and Polly were left alone for 3 hours by themselves. They didn’t know what to do. They weren’t even proper teenagers yet. What were they to do? They decided it was the only thing to do that they enjoyed, painting. They grabbed a canvas and the paint and their colour wheel so they could make the best of the best of colours. They never went to school yet they were naturally good painters. They each painted each other and were really happy with the results. Turns out they did 3 hours of painting and before they knew it, their parents were back! They left their paintings unattended and when they went to show their parents the paintings… they were gone! The paintings had disappeared!

Chapter 2 – The Big Search

They promised their parents that they had made paintings on their canvases but they had no idea on where those canvases went. They had a big search! They looked under the fridge, next to the fridge, on top of the fridge, around the table, on the bottom of the table, above the table, on the wall, by the wall, on the log burner, inside the log burner, outside, inside, on top of the road, next to the road, they looked everywhere! Their last bet was the forest. The creepy creature packed pitch black forest. Polly was walking into the forest with confidence but then stopped because she saw that Xurxus wasn’t coming. She asked Xurxus what was wrong and he said it was because he was Nyctophobic and Agoraphobic but because of being Agoraphobic, he felt there was no escape to this scenario so he gambled it and his best bet was to go in with Polly. 

He felt that as soon as he stepped into the forest it felt it had become night time. All they had were their phone torches but, like all normal kids, their phones were on 19%. They were; and I mean this… SCARED!! Except for Polly. Yeah Polly was absolutely fine. 100% ay-ok. Xurxus was the real problem. He was a scaredy-cat. One important thing I should note down is that Xurxus has a massive crush on Polly. Polly doesn’t know this but, ever since they were littlings, Xurxus has been drooling all over Polly. His actions toward his likings for her are really obvious. But Polly (being the crazy person she is) doesn’t suspect a singular thing. They had their search around the forest but couldn’t see the paintings anywhere! Their phones died so they ended the search but on the way back to the house, Xurxus kept seeing rectangular shadow looking objects in the distance appearing then disappearing constantly. Polly said he was hallucinating but he was serious. “Something,” He said, “Is following us…”.

For your information my beloved dear readers, if you have read the Chad the Cheetah Vs Robbie Rhino or the Jebron Lames football Legacy and are waiting for more, please be informed that I will be releasing a NEW small book that I will be releasing on Homeis.fun very soon!

You may be thinking, “Apollo, why on living earth would you make a new book if you never finished Jebron Lames?!” And to that I say, “NONE OF YOUR BLIMMIN BEESWAX YOUR DIRTY POO!!” I haven’t entirely figured out the name yet but an idea I had in mind is, ‘Felix And The Quest Of Lord Jeronimo!’

I hope I have gotten you exited about this book. Please take note that ‘Felix And The Quest Of Lord Jeronimo’ is entirely fake. I will however make a new small book but you are not allowed to know the name yet for it is a surprise.

I will leave you dangling off the edge of a cliff and about to plummet to your death (or however the saying goes) and leave you alone now.

thank you for putting aside time to read ‘A little note’ just for you.

What can I say? I just really love this book.

This book is not what I thought it was about. I thought it was, people who fought against each other in battle and blah blah blah but turns out it’s just a hilarious book about Adidas vs Puma, Mary vs Elizabeth etc. I think my favourite one had to be like under the first one with the paleontologist or the one with Mary vs Elizabeth because Mary was stupididly crazy because turns out she wore a wig, she had a dog in a bag when she got decapitated and her had was rolling around but her lips are still moving and whatnot but she was also quite pretty because once someone who fell madly in love with her helped her break out of prison! He got all the guards drunk and disabled all of the boats except one and yeah it’s just really funny!

 I would would one million percent recommend this book but sadly it’s only on Audible but the person who reads it is just really funny because there’s sound effects and stuff that they put in like Explosions every now and then and he’s, “Like well sorry but there wasn’t an explosion in this scenario.” And then everything just goes a bit weird and then there’s another explosion or something and he’s like, “Guys I just told you why aren’t you listening??”

This book for me is an exclusive. It is funny, it’s true facts it’s again funny and I just really like this book for so many reasons just because, again I say for the third time it’s really funny and I just love hearing about history in a funny way and this book if you like history is literally like one of the best books. It does say the naughty word for orphan basically the bad B word but and the normal B word but it’s annoying that it says it but is just to explain the scenario but I understand why they’re putting it in because to be fair it does sound a little bit funny being completely honest. But this book is just the best! I think it’s actually my favorite book. It definitely passes Jim Gaffigan. I’m really sorry for the animal farm but George Orwell could have made it a bit more funny. and I just feel that this book really brings liveliness and you can really understand the character of who these people were why there was so stupid what they did to deserve what they did and whatnot but it just really puts it into perspective how idiotic some people were back then for example because the creators of Puma and Adidas were Brothers, when they died, they were buried in the same graveyard but it opposite ends. So dumb because they had a rivalry so… you get the jist.

Putting aside time to read this and if you have audible definitely read it I think it’s free in the audible library and it’s a very very good book! \(*U*)/